The Twelfth Wheel.

We all have friends. Our friends are there for us when we need them in times of peril, heart-break and elation and in turn, we’re there for them. If you don’t have friends, you’re either a sociopath, who is incapable of forming any kind of relationship outside of their own severely decrepit and unfeeling minds, or so socially awkward that even the socially awkward kids avoid you in the playground. For those of us who (thankfully) don’t fit into either category, our friends are our lifelines and without them, we’d be lost.

Now I think I have some of the greatest friends on the planet. I love them all dearly and am inexplicably happy when we all get together to catch up. There’s nothing quite like meeting up with a group of people who have shared in so many experiences with you and are so comfortable in our lengthy companionship. Nevertheless, despite my undying love for these people, being one of the only single people can be shall I say, a little discouraging? Depressing? Draining? The majority of my friends are in long-term relationships (5+ years) and are in the process of planning their lives together. They’re moving in together, buying houses, getting engaged and doing all of the coupley things that couples do. Don’t get me wrong though! I love that those closest to me are steaming ahead with their lives and careers but it sometimes leaves me feeling rather deflated. I’m a 26-year-old, second year university student who lives at home and is single. I really don’t think my life can get more pathetic and it doesn’t help that when I get together with my friends, they’re so clearly in love with one another that I feel out of place. I feel like a twelfth wheel. As well as this, I also feel like I’m not able to share in a lot of the couple dramas my friends are going through because I don’t have a partner of my own and can’t complain about my own man dramas. At most, all I can do when my girlfriends complain about their boyfriends is nod, look concerned and say “What an asshole!”. It’s been years since my last real relationship and so I think I’m pretty out of touch. I try to give advice based on my own experiences but I don’t know how effective it really is. At least I try, right?!

Anyway, this then brings me to the idea of dating. I don’t even know where to begin! I’m told “Just go on a night out and you’ll find someone” or “Try online dating” but to be honest, both options have me running for the hills at break-neck speeds. I really don’t think I’m going to find my perfect match in a bar or on a website and thus lies my problem. Why is it so hard to find the right guy? And why is it that you think you find the right guy and it turns out that he’s gay, taken or just plain unavailable? I say, WHERE HAVE ALL THE DECENT MEN GONE??!! It’s a debate that single women everywhere are grappling with but the question remains: Is there any hope left for me and my seemingly-everlasting singledom?


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